"We're TOO SMALL"

"A size and strength advantage in the trenches will lead Alabama to a comfortable win over Utah in the Allstate Sugar Bowl." ESPN.com/Scouts Inc.



"we are the only team that plays in a real BCS conference that went 12-0." Nick Saban, Alabama Head Coach



"There is not a player out of high school that Alabama would recruit... Alabama is too strong defensively, and physically, Utah has met an opponent that they might not could handle..." Barry Switzer



"An ESPN poll that seems to change hourly says 89 percent of the nation thinks the former No. 1 team in the country will handle the 12-0 Utes." ESPN.com



"The Vegas guys say 12-1 Alabama, a 10-point favorite, will cover that line and then some." ESPN.com



"Bama will man handle their offense and like all the other games, our offensive line will wear down their defense. "
Bama 31 utes 10." augrad4ua, comment post

"Alabama has outscored opponents 122-37 in the first quarter" FoxSports.com


The above is a mere snippet of what I was obsessed with listening too for the month of December. I couldn't help it, I wanted to hear Colin Cowherd on ESPN radio talk about the next Sugar Bowl failure of a matchup. I couldn't help but read every single comment that followed a "here comes another blowout" article on ESPN. I loved it, I relished in the glory of my team being SOOOOO overrated.

I loved every time I heard that "Utah is too Small," or "They play like Florida without the talent." I love that Graham Watson, a female sports writer on FoxSports.com got ripped by about 1000 comments when she predicted a Utah win. Even my wife would ask, "why do you want to watch this, it's just going to piss you off?" talking about watching ESPN pundits rip into Utah and praise the O-line that is going to be playing on Sundays next year. And I would think to myself, that is EXACTLY why I want to watch this.

And I was right.

For those who missed the hype, "Bama's" Offensive line (the ones who are supposed to stop our quys from getting to their quarterback, while simultaneously helping their running back run straight through us) out-weighed us by over 40lbs per man, and everyone of them made 1st team All-American honors (kinda like the all-stars of college). Overall, Alabama had more 1st Team All-American's than any other school in the NCAA. Alabama had only trailed for 17 minutes for the ENTIRE season including their loss to Florida, they led 763 of the 780 minutes of football they played this year. They were ranked #1 in the country (for most of the season) and came from what is believed to be the strongest conference in the country. They averaged 208 Yards of rushing (thanks to their O-Line) per game. They were big, they were physical, and so were all of their opponents.

Utah on the other hand, had one All-American, their kicker. They had an offense that was considered "stagnent." And even though they were the ONLY undefeated team in the NCAA this year, they weren't given a chance.



1st Quarter: There I was rocking back and forth as the Utes deferred the opening possession to the all powerful Crimson Tide. "Here we go" I thought to myself as I took a deep breath. And in their opening possession, something happened, something NO ONE saw coming, we sacked their quarterback. I was already trash-talking, but sarcastically, I couldn't help but scream everything I heard every ESPN analyst talk about leading up to this game, I couldn't help but scream "NO, we CAN'T do that, WE-ARE-TOO-SMALL!!!"

And then we got the ball (after Casteel let it bounce of his helmet on the kickoff and we miraculously got it back). 6 plays later, the utes were up, 7-0... 11 minutes later, the quarter ended, the Utes up, 21-0. For the first time this year, Alabama was starting the second quarter behind. For the first time this year, Alabama was starting the second quarter without having scored. For the first time this year, the Country thought Utah might have a shot here.

2nd Quarter: Alabama's defense woke up as the Utes were held scoreless. Their offense got together a bit too as they put together their first successful drive of the evening to put 3 points on the board. The Utah fans could feel the tension as it looked like the Alabama players were starting to realize they were in a football game, a football game where they were the Varsity Team, and their opponents were the JV.

Utah All-American Louis Sukoda booted one of his magnificent punts 55 yards to a beast of a man, only to watch the beast's giant legs leap through Louis failed tackle and put another 7 points on the board for Alabama. And not soon enough, the 1st half was over, Utes still up, 21-10. The comeback was mounting. But the Utes still had something, they had still held 'Bama's big offense from getting into the endzone. At least that was the case until...

3rd Quarter: Utes got the ball to start on their own 20, only to fumble it to 'Bama, on our own 20. Before we knew it, Alabama was within 4 points, and they could smell blood. The utes needed to to something, and they needed to do it now.

Utah Quarterback Brian Johnson, calm and collected as always, swiftly led the Utes the opposing teams 28 yard line where he hit David Reed for what looked to be a 9 yard grab as he was being tackled by the "way too big" defensive back as he caught the ball, but the "too small" Reed stayed on his feet, and booked it the other 19 yards to put Utah back up by 2 scores.

4th Quarter: Dominance, total Defensive Dominance. Sacks, an Interception, and 0 points scored... by Alabama. The Utes were content to hold onto the ball as much of the 15 minute quarter as they could muster, while adding 3 points to their score on a Sukoda kick. And when John Parker Wilson threw a pass to Robert Johnson with just 2:00 minutes remaining, everyone knew it was over.

They knew it was over because John Parker Wilson plays for Alabama, Robert Johnson plays for Utah. And Utah was up 31-17.

Sugary Sweet was this all too perfect moment. I gave a goofy smile to my "frightened by my over-exuberence" beautiful wife, wearing her newly purchased Sugar Bowl shirt, and gave a kiss to my darling little Newborn daughter, also in Utah fan garb.

I couldn't wait to here about how small we were again, I couldn't wait to read the comments NOW, I couldn't wait to turn on the radio.

The Utes won.

And then I exhaled.

What you missed, and what you should have

Sports -

NBA Finals ... The Celtics Won, can't really remember who they played, I'm not sure if anyone even showed up... But one thing is for sure, if anyone who deserved a championship as much as "Stockton to Malone," It was ... KG, to Ray, to Pierce........to Rondo? Long story short, Celtics take it 4-1

Stanley Cup - ummmmm.... yeah, Detroit something???

Soccer.. Cup - Espania Surprised everyone

Baseball - K, so nobody watches baseball but college baseball saw the biggest upset in baseball history with Fresno upsetting.... ummm... whoever they beat.... oh, and the AL won the AllStar Game...

Football - I just put this here cuz I miss it

And the surprise winner of the most exciting 21 hour sports "moment" since I last wrote goes to none other then the Athlete of the Year Mr. Tiger Woods, and his noteworthy opponent Mr. Rocco Mediate. For those of you who missed it, it took 91 holes to pick a winner... a Major is only supposed to take 72.

That's 38,700 Yards, or 22 Miles!!! Oh, and did I mention that Tiger just had surgery on his knee, oh and that he had TWO stress fractures in his Left leg. Try and tell me that these guys (this guy) aren't (isn't) athletes (an athlete). And with Tiger gone, Padraig Harrington was able to steal the British Open.

A close second would have to go to an Epic 5 hour battle between Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer in Tennis..es biggest championship known as Wimbledon. To everyone's surprise, despite an incredible rally by the best in Tennis, Rafa shut him down an took home the big prize. Venus also won for the like the 37th time or something

Yeah, this is gonna be a long one...

Movies-

So for the Movies, I think I'm just gonna grade them to keep this ummm still long... So here they are in order of release date/last time I posted about a movie (Semi-Pro).

The Other Boleyn Girl: B+ Dark, but well done... Henry VIII was the pimp who got "involved"

Run, Fat Boy, Run: A Marathonally Insparational

SuperHero Movie: B- Basicaly got what I expected out of this :)

Stop-Loss: B+ Doc'd for its clear MTV style message of ignorance... Other than that, terrific

IronMan: A++ Damn...

What Happens in Vegas: A- Very good comedy without being singularly situational

The CoN, Prince Caspian: B Very good compared to the first bomb

Indiana Jones: Crystal Skull: B+ Great start, got wackier and wackier as it went on

You Don't Mess with the Zohan: B Oversexed, but saved by a good message and a very hot Emmanuel Chiquiri

on my 5.. that's all I'm sayin...

The Incredible Hulk: B+ Again, props for a much improved version of the original, go Ed Norton

The Love Guru: B+ Surprisingly ..not "oversexed" mostly filled with great life lessons (really), and good comedy... Plus Justin Timberlake makes a great addition

Get Smart: A- Good wholesome fun, and not too situational, and I love The Rock!

for the ladies (also on my 5...)

W.A.L.L.E.: A Terrific, Funny, and incredibly endearing

Hancock: A- Better than I thought it would be, and a big ol' unexpected twist

Wanted: A+ Angelina, is wanted...by me (she's the other 3 of my 5)

The Dark Knight: A++++++ By far the best movie in 12 years (Dumb and Dumber, still my #1). It is sad that it will take a movie like this and a character so creepy to help us realize even more how much everyone will miss america's favorite Gay Cowboy

That's all I'll put on for now... and I think everyone will agree... that's enough for now, I hope to post more tomorrow...

How do you "slow play" 21??

So somewhat recently, I have been invited to join a small group of people who play cards somewhat regularly. The first 5 times I played with these guys, I won a total of 7 hands... For those of you who don't play cards, or aren't familiar with how "Hold'Em" works, I'll explain a little better. A single game between 8 people can last up to 8 hours, that's a full work day folks (for those who really work, I know this is typically not actually a full work day). And in any given game, there are probably well over 100 "hands" per player... So lets review (I know how you like it when I review (you do)).





First 5 times, 7 hands (AKA, 40 hours and over 500 "hands", of which, I won 7)





That's one hand won every 5 hours and 43 minutes... it suddenly became very obvious why I was invited...





Until I learned to actually watch the other players, particularly the ones who were considered "good." I learned the secret (This would be the secret that you could probably learn by asking any poker player that is decent or maybe googling "the secret to winning at cards" or by thinking really hard about it for a minute), but I still felt very special about the secret. And here it is...





You don't play the cards, you play the bets. When I learned this, I learned how to win, and have won both of the last games, not just hands. Now the first game was while I was trying to learn my new technique, and I have to give lady luck some credit for keeping me in the game with 4 different hands of a 4-of-a-kind, 2 of which were on the flop (In "Hold'Em", every one gets 2 cards, and there are community cards that are dropped that everyone can play, the first 3 are called "the flop," the next card is "the turn," and the next is "the river."). So at this point, I had to quickly learn, the "slow play." This better than anything talk me how to play bets rather than players. "Slow-playing" is where you know you've won the hand, but you need to keep as many players in the game, and betting as much as you get them to bet to maximize your take... You have to be sneaky here, fortunately, this group knows I'll bet at least something, if I think I have a chance, just to get the pot bigger, and usually, it's a very small bet which kind of pisses people off, but hey, it gets them "bought in" to the pot. This causes people to "chase the river" (which is when you ride luck and hope that the last community card (the river) is the one you need to have a chance). It works quite well, and now I'm going into hands and games expecting to win. Tellin you folks, do not play the cards, or even the players. Play the bets, they tell you everything you need to know about the cards, AND the players.





Now for a segway to stick with my title, how do you "slow play" 21? I'll tell you, you direct a movie about the game of 21, set it primarily in the fast paced city of Las Vegas, add girls, gambling, and the quickest game in cards, and still manage to d.......r.........a..............g it along, and that's how you "slow play" the game of 21, and also how you "slow play" a run-on sentence that lasts entirely too long and has way to many references to "slow play" which I'm sure is shattering some other grammatical writing rule along with writing the number 21 over and over again also too...?





ALL that being said, it was actually a good movie. I for one love numbers, and this movie teaches you that simple math can exist everywhere. It also teaches you that you can make your own luck, but that people notice when you're a little too "lucky."


Kevin Spacey does his usual good job, but the impressive part is the acting of the side characters, most of whom have not had the reel time to be a household name yet. Like I said, the movie does take some time to develope, but if you try to learn something from it, it will keep you interested. Hands down the best performance in the movie is by Laurence Fishburne as the thug Casino Security guy with a chip on his shoulder thanks to new technology trying to put him out of business.





Grade = B+... I'd see it again...

So this post was long

because it was two fold

but it had two points

so I hope it didn't get old

not to mention

that they were related

and the fact that I won

has me elated (look it up, I did)

So I wanted to talk about it

The End

1+1+1+1 = 4

Did you get that?

The Final Four, all number 1's, just like everyone didn't expect to have planned so well. Seriously, I have never seen so many "experts" so surprised that they were actually right. But I guess 68 years of virtually "guessing"(and guessing wrong) who the top four teams were would do that to you.

Unfortunately, that meant I only guessed 2 of the final 4 teams, and now the 2 I have left are facing their most difficult opponents on paper. And it also came at the expense of the young phenom I was obsessing over 2 blogs ago. I have to say, that this was a difficult game to watch on the offensive end. Kansas was no question the better team. They outrebounded, assisted, shooshted (shooted), and flat out, out played Davidson. And yet, there they were. Curry even had, in my opinion, a pretty awful shooting night (9-25). There just seemed to be a lot of really bad decisions made on the part of the offense.

Defensively though, this game was a beauty. I think I saw one shot the entire game that was uncontested. I haven't really been in to college ball much of my sporting life, but if every season game is like the ones played in this tourny each year, then I am definitely missing out. I mean, they actually PLAY basketball... none of this, I'm going to see if there is a way to throw myself into a body to draw a foul so I don't actually have to try and create my own shot until I've done that enough so that people just stop trying to play real defense on me so I get a bunch of easy looks and look like a genius. You know who you are M Ginobli, oh no that's too obvious, let's call you Manu CRAPFACE.... still too obvious... no hard feelings, I just HATE him :) Back to my point, I love the hustle, it really is how sports should be. Congrats to the number 1's, these are gonna be some good games...

well Curry is out

as Davidson fell

it'll be a long trip

back to the hotel

but History is written

how it should be

with the #1's

at the top of the bracket tree

I'm sorry I had to diss

the Spurs MVP (no it's not Duncan, but that's another argument)

But man I hate that guy

cuz he really sucks at life!

The End

Only Back Down if There's Not Some Deep Special Reason To Do So....?

Ok, so if you didn't get what my excellent riddle of a title for this post is about, then I will tell (type) you. This is going to be a quick little review of the movie "Never Back Down."
Despite not being a Box Office Tycoon, it was actually pretty successful for a fairly low-budget, fairly predictable movie.

And as for myself, I gotta say, I kinda liked it. The movie did a good job of showing how a teenagers aquire information these days by having YouTube be the vessel of popularity. Even the dorky kid is "cool" cuz he's the one who "posts" the video's of the actual "cool" kids. The fight scenes are actually pretty entertaining. And when you throw in the ultimate BadA$$ for a trainer Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond) and lots of skin, and even a feel good "head-nod" between "enemies" to cap it off and you've got yourself an ok flick.

Now for my beef with the movie... will somebody, for the love of freakin YOU KNOW WHO please try to make a movie where the main characters don't seem to have an unlimited income for no reason at all, other then one that is entirely ethnocentric... Is it that hard, it must be, cuz they are getting further and farther between. Say what you want about comic book movies, but they do this part right...

Grade, a solid B- (AKA, I would see it again with someone who hadn't seen it yet)...

:J

Sorta-Sweet :/

Yes ... Sorta, as in like... I'm sorta excited, I would say 75% (out of 100) excited...ish. Why? Because I picked 6 out of 8 games that's why, because now I only have a max of 3 out of the final 4 that's why, because I'm only 75% confident that the UCLA Bruins I picked to win it are going to be able to stand up to North Carolinas unbelievable dismantlings of every unfortunate group of hopefulls to join the "dance." But I'm stickin with the Bruins and the undeniable power that is Kevin Love.

Call me crazy, but so far I've seen UCLA (probably the "deepest" team in college) play some of their worst basketball. I've seen 3 upset wannabee's play at their absolute best "upset worthy" levels just to be outclassed by pure frustrating talent. If UCLA finds their groove at all, which I think the better competition willl bring out in them, then my 72-65 prediction will become reality, and I might actually win a friggin pole this year for once...

Before I finish, I have to give a shout out to my next phenom obsession, the one The "King/LBJ/The Chosen One" himself said is the only college player he'll be watching. I'm talkin about Stephon Curry, who today joined the likes of Wilt Chamberlain and Magic Johnson by being only the 3rd person ever to score at least 30 points in his first 3 college tournament games.

Let's review, the LeBron James... the same LeBron that got a endorsement deal from Nike that was more than Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Warren Sapp, Mia Hamm, and Venus Williams... COMBINED, a-n-d l-i-v-e-d u-p t-o e-v-e-r-y p-en-n-y, says that he's excited about Stephon Curry...

Magic Johnson, despite the early end to his unbelievable career, one of 2 guys to receive MVP honors THREE times, the guy who was only 2.8 rebounds away from averaging a triple-double, for his CAREER!

Wilt Chamberlain, ummmm.... 100 points, one game, ummmm... yeah, nuff said.

Long story long, if UCLA isn't going to take it, I'll be pullin for my favorite new obsession Curry to pull off a Wilt/Magic worthy upset and take the whole thing. So there you have it folks, look him up, and don't be surprised, he's the one on Davidson's team that looks about 10 years old...

Curry is the Prince

According to Lebron the King

And he may just be right

that's the scary thing

He's not physically intimidating

or quick like the flash

But he plays like he invented the game

with all sorts of pinache ("Pi-Nash"?)

I promise you should watch him

his skills are a plenty

He personally outscored Wisconsin

in the second half, 22-20

nuff said

The End

Told you he looked like he was 10!

MaDnEsS!!!

I though I'd take a stab at my first quick illustration

for the new blog... ideas and critiques in this area would also be appreciated :)

Wow! It's begun!!! It's here!!!!! I'm increasing the amount of "!'s" every sentence fragment!!!!!!!!! Isn't that awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sorry, what was I talking about again, oh yeah! March Madness.

I can honestly say this is the first year that I've actually been able to watch a majority of the opening day of March Madness. If every year is as good as today's games were, I'm seriously going to be too sick to go to work every time it comes around. Aside from a few blowouts that weren't even shown on local network TV, and the fact that there was no "big" upsets... there managed to be a ton of great games today.

But I do have a bone to pick with the media... Maybe I'm watching the wrong sports channels on a daily basis, but I have heard of nothing but how O.J. Mayo can walk on water. Never have my local media personel given a one, Michael Beasley, any air time. This is a problem folks, let's do a little side by side shall we...

O.J. Mayo Michael Beasley
PPG 20.8 26.5
Intangibles 9.9 16.6
FG% 44.4% 53.5%
FT% 80.0% 76.7%
3pt % 40.8% 38.9%

And the most compelling stat of all, minutes per game. O.J. averages 5.3 minutes per game MORE than Beasley yet, scores less points, has less intangibles (my name for the total amount of rebounds, steals, blocks, and assists in a game), shoots 4 less free throws, and takes as many shots just to hit less. Did I miss something??? If more than like 3 people (and that's being generous) actually read this, I bet they would tell me I missed something, I hope they would tell me I missed something... Cuz all I saw in Mayo today, was a young guy who happens to be more athletic of a mediocre player, surrounded by less athletic mediocre players, coached by a great coach.

So that is my argument from the first day of MaDnEsS... Now for another poetic treat, from me to you...

I'm probably just bitter

because my bracket has flaws

I had USC winning

not taking a loss

there goes my perfect bracket

and the cool 5 Mill

that Yahoo! wanted to give me

but O.J couldn't fit the bill

so now I'm stuck in second

in my little Yahoo! pool

BYU didn't help me either

they made me look like a (obviously "fool" would fit nicely here, but I don't want anything that has to do with BYU to "flow" nicely since even though, as an avid University of Utah fan, I found myself trying to cheer on their abysmal field goal shooting despite the fierce rivalry within me just to be disappointed)...

The End